Within the temper for anger? This is easy methods to productively channel this anger

The anger about quitting a job is a popular fantasy. In so many movies and TV shows, suddenly quitting a job is a moment of justification after all the frustrations and resentments a person has endured in their miserable job. They can finally throw their work phone into a Parisian fountain and send their boss to voicemail like Andy did in The Devil Wears Prada. Or you can say to a colleague: “I can no longer do this”, while leaving their unwanted work tasks behind and smiling as Issa did in “Unsafe”.

Even if you don’t respond to it, it’s a big blinking indication that something needs to change in your work life when you deal with elaborate scenarios of how you would quit on the spot.

“It’s a sign that something is wrong. Our discomfort, our anger, our anger is information that indicates to us that there is some kind of need that is not being met. Or some kind of truth that we don’t know, ”said Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, a licensed psychologist and executive coach.

It can be tempting to escape into the angry daydream when work is a nightmare, but it’s not a useful exercise to keep going all the time. “IIt may prevent you from taking action that is actually useful or appropriate to the situation, ”said Horsham-Brathwaite. “It can help make people feel trapped instead of looking at the underlying cause or problem that is making them fantasize about quitting.”

Instead of escaping into a fantasy, here’s how to face reality and turn that anger into productive action that can free you from the job that is making you unhappy:

1. Familiarize yourself with the source of your anger.

Before going into your angry fantasy and making it a reality, Horsham-Brathwaite recommended that you familiarize yourself with the causes of your anger through introspection.

Sometimes this is a difficult first step for people.

“Because we may not have learned that it is okay to have anger and anger, we may go to, ‘There is something wrong with me, I need to get rid of this emotion’ and not necessarily look, ‘Well, maybe there is something in the environment that it is reasonable to be angry with, ”said Horsham-Brathwaite. “Maybe you don’t get paid fairly or you don’t do one job because of shifts, you do three jobs.”

For clarity, Horsham-Brathwaite recommended that you record your thoughts and feelings about your job and see if this activity can produce possible solutions.

2. Talk to others who can give you an outside perspective.

Since anger can tarnish our judgment, it is useful to speak to mentors and trusted advisors outside of your terrible job who can give you a fresh perspective on your work problems.

“It starts to create some hope that this doesn’t have to be your life forever.”

– Lisa Orbé-Austin, psychologist and career coach

That person can tell you, “Here’s the part that is the environment, and here’s the part that I hear about how you faced challenges that you might be able to address differently in the future, and here’s why . ”Horsham- Said Brathwaite. “I think it helps to have people in our lives who tell us what they think is the truth, and then we can decide if what they share resonates with us.”

Psychologist and career coach Lisa Orbé-Austin said you can reach out to mentors not only to complain, but to ask for ideas on how to strategize on your next step.

“It begins to instill some hope that if you can plan for the future this doesn’t have to be your life forever, and you can start thinking about other options,” she said. “It is in these moments that we are often constricted in our world.”

3. Network, but don’t spend all of your time talking about your current job.

Networking for better opportunities is a proactive step you can take to leave a job that is causing you so much distress. But while meeting with coworkers or coworkers, don’t let anger about your current job define the career story you tell other people.

Horsham-Brathwaite said professionals shouldn’t network while devastating the place they work or their manager. It just doesn’t help. It gives people no idea what kind of team member you would be in this new environment or whether they would be comfortable recommending you to a hiring manager. “

4. Take time off when you can and center your health.

Orbé-Austin recommended that you work your emotions through with a professional such as a therapist when you find yourself in an angry headspace.

“It’s not just quitting that dissolves any feelings left over from what happened,” Orbé-Austin said. “When we’re so angry, we often do nothing but [venting]So I think it is really important that you take care of your holistic health and just take a step back and see what is missing in your self care process. “

5. Plan your exit strategy or accept the consequences if you have to stop angry without notice.

What movies and TV shows don’t always say is that quitting on-site may feel good right now, but it has long-term ramifications.

Orbé-Austin quit a previous job without notice, but does not recommend doing so without a plan on site. “It can have reputational consequences that you may not even think about,” she said. “I knew these consequences back then.”

If you do decide to quit your local job, be prepared to gossip with coworkers who gossip about it. “A lot of people will never know the circumstances and just see their anger stop,” Orbé-Austin said. “On the other side of me, all these people were walking away who said, ‘How could she do this? How unprofessional. How could you ever trust her again? ‘”

But don’t wait either and hope that your work situation improves. Internal opportunities like getting a new boss on board or joining a new team can at some point arise and relieve the pain point that is causing the trouble. However, Orbé-Austin said you should be proactive and take steps that are under your control, such as: B. Networking and job hunting to get you out of your circumstances.

When you feel like quitting your anger, “yYou want to create a better sense of agency and control in your life, ”she said. “It requires you to do things to move forward, not necessarily wait for something better to come.”

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